whats the point in living when there isnt anything to live for?
by the end of the year, i can leave but id rather leave right now and not have any alternatives in my life.
just end it, right now.
im already down to one parent, by the end of the year i could possibly be down to zero.
there is nothing to pull me out of this emotional spiral that my life appears to be.
absolutely nothing.
there is nothing to fight for in this life, nor will there be anything to fight for in any life.
whats the point in living life? some people succeed and the ones around them seem to help them succeed but never succeed themselves.
they are the people that get stepped on to make others feel better about themselves.
what is the point in living that lifestyle?
there isnt.

i have suffered the consequences for long enough and how much more i can take, im not sure anymore.
i am drawing towards that thin line where i snap and will never be able to restore myself.
the people in my life, probably deserve a thanks.
but i am not going to give it to them anymore.
for all the shit they've put me through, why do they deserve it?
they dont deserve it. they just expect it.
i dont make anyones life better, just worse.
why would a person want to live in a life where everything they do, just brings the people that they care about down?
as the time frame for my childhood closes, i want to preserve what little of it is good.
i don't want to go on with this joke of a life anymore.
there is very little point.

nothing i say, or do makes a difference to anyone.
so it doesnt matter what i do next.
i feel nostalgic of a time where i felt happy, but ive realised that there was never a time where i was truly happy.
never has been and never will be.

no one understands me, so what is the point in having friends?

ill question my life everyday and yet, no answers to what i ask.
im on the edge of breaking down and no one can possibly save me.
they could try but its a hopeless cause.

life pretty much just sucks.
simply it sucks.
the feeling of isolation feels awesome though.
i want to leave this life and never ever have the ability to recall it.
i have no good memories to recall, only bad that play in my head like a continious flashback on my failures.
no one understands.
so whats the point in trying?
with all the questions of the world in my head, nothing will become clearer.

there isnt anything to live for, and there never was.
i wish that i had never existed in this fucked up lifetime of mine.

i dream of a time, where i can start over. with nothing holding me back.
but all this bullshit, will always follow me.
unfortunately.
ill keep telling myself, i will try again. never works though.


i just want to be at peace, with no care in the world.